Nkosi Sikelel' Afrika (God Bless Africa)

Hold a true friend with both your hands. ~Nigerian Proverb

I started writing about the trip because from the moment I mentally committed to going and ran the proposal past my husband for the umpteenth time, extraordinary things began to happen. When I say extraordinary, I truly mean EXTRA ORDINARY. The acts of others have touched me and surprised me and some have completely flabergasted me. Without the first act though, this trip would not be possible for me.

Most people would say they have a BEST friend. Ask my kids and they would tell you who theirs is. Of course that answer could change in 10 minutes, but right now they will give you a name without hesitation. And some people will give the “sweet” answer and say their husband or wife. Make no mistake - I love my husband. Wouldn’t want to live a day without him, but even he knows that I have a best friend who will always have a special place in my heart. A place reserved for someone who is not legally obligated to love me unconditionally, but does anyway. For me that person is Lisa. Lisa and I have been best friends for nearly 20 years (wow….that sure looks old when it is in print). We have experienced some of the greatest adventures in life together. Here we are on our first trip together to New York City. Note the fashionable vest and “not- dated- at- all” denim. We really thought we were cute then.

One of our greatest adventures was when she came to visit me at the end of my time in South Africa. Here we are in Zimbabwe at the edge of Victoria Falls. And here is Lisa at the game reserve where we went on safari in Krueger Park, South Africa. The trip was special for both of us because this was a dream come true to me to experience life in South Africa and Lisa never hesitated to book a flight and join me on my journey. So when she booked another flight to Africa this summer I should not have been surprised. But I was. More than surprised – I was humbled beyond words.

When I committed to the trip I didn’t want to take anything away from our family. Whether that be a vacation or letting the kids go to the preschool they love for one more year. I was going to raise the money in other ways. The only problem was I needed to book my flight pretty quick to secure the price and I didn’t have the funds up front. I had this grand idea. I was going to borrow the money from my 94 year old grandfather. He keeps stacks of it just lying around waiting for one of his grandkid to ask for it and he would have loved to help me out. The plan was to borrow the money and then sell things like cupcakes or monogrammed bags or whatever I could to raise the extra funds and pay him back along the way. I was so excited about my genius plan I called my best friend. I hadn’t told her any of the details about the trip so I couldn’t wait to hear her reaction that I was getting to go back to the continent I love. She was every bit as excited as I expected her to be. I told her about what we were doing and who was going and what my plan was for raising the money. She said she wanted to send me some money and I told her that was silly – I was not going to let her to do something like that. I needed to be responsible and pay for myself and just pay my grandfather back as I earned it.

After I hung up the phone I went about my business. A few hours later she called back. She wanted to give me my flight numbers to Addis Ababa. DID YOU CATCH THAT? MY FLIGHT NUMBER. True to form she’d tracked down Emily, got the information and bought my tickets. Now you will hear me say this over and over (so much that you will start to think I am trying to convince myself) but I am not a crier. My mother has never been supportive of crying and I learned from her that if I was strong enough I could fight back the tears in any situation. Well, I wasn’t strong enough. I started bawling. I have learned in my life that sadness does not generally bring me to tears. Neither does anger nor pain. I see too much of those things in my line of work, I would be crying all the time. The things that open the ducts of my tears are kindness in the face of adversity, grace where none is deserved and the selfless sacrifice of one person for another. To me Lisa’s act was a culmination of all three. She knew how this trip would change me and I knew how much Lisa was giving herself to make it possible. I also know that few people know me like Lisa does and knows when I can be selfish and unkind. She knows when I do things for my own benefit or for the praise of men. In spite of what she knows about me she did this. Everyone should be lucky enough to have a best friend like her.